Because this is my blog, I am going
to use this post as a soapbox. I want to talk about bullying.
Being only 25 years old, I can
remember very well the times, in middle school especially, when I was bullied,
teased, and made the butt of the jokes whispered behind my back just loud
enough for me to hear.
My one true
saving grace through all of my school years was that I was and am still insanely
athletic so I was grouped in with the athletes as opposed to the losers, which
believe me, without my talent to hit a big yellow ball, I would have been in.
It seems
like every day when I turn on my computer one of the first headline stories I
see is about a young person, I mean 9 and 10 years old sometimes, hurting or killing
themselves because of relentless bullying.
My era of
school was a lot less pressure because the social media outlets where a lot of
this bullying is living didn't exist. MySpace was just becoming a thing early
in my high school years and even then it wasn't yet a widely used outlet. There
was no Facebook, no Instagram, No Snapchat; nothing that could follow me home.
If we were being bullied in school, at least we knew when we got off the bus or
got into our parent's car it was over until the next day.
Kids today
do not have that luxury and it really has started to make me uncomfortable and
fearful for the future. I do not have any children but someday I hope to and I
cannot fathom what the world will look like at that time; the uncertainty is
terrifying.
Most people
believe that bullying comes from a sense of overcompensation on the part of the
tormentor and I guess I would agree but I truly think that some people are just
not good. Even at a young age some people were just born with anger and hate in
their soul and often their upbringing only fuels the flames.
I don't
know what to tell the kid that only encounters hate or judgments. Stay strong,
and It'll get better are clichés that can only go so far. Being bullied leaves
mark so strong that they will shape the adults these kids are too come and
worst of all may be that they will only then encounter adult bullies at the
other end of adolescence.
To the bullied: Take the odds that
are stacked against you and use them as your stepping stones in life. Look
inside to find and nurture the things you like about yourself. Use the tough
skin you will develop to not be afraid of scraping your knee when you embark on
amazing adventures. Look at your bullies with pity and sadness knowing they are
misguided and lost. Find peace in your interests and what makes you unique.
Foster relationships with people who 'get you' and learn to lean on them. It
will not be easy but it will never stay the same. There is always the opportunity
for change around the corner and one of those turns will bring better things
than you left behind. Even though there are more than 6 billion people in this
world you still matter. You are something that truly cannot be replicated or
replaced. Keep that in consideration when it feels like a mass of sameness. Being
rare is more valuable than mass produced replicas.
To the bullies: Try to step back
and put yourself in your victim's shoes. No one likes feeling isolated; no one
likes the façade of a tough guy or a mean girl. Your act of cowardice in trying
to convey dominance is so transparent. You are showing your weakness and short
comings. Be brave enough to confront yourself in the mirror and truly ask if
you like the person you see reflected there. If not, you can change. An apology
does not change the past but it can alter the future. There is always an opportunity
to be better than your upbringing, better than your past self. Breaking someone
else does not make you stronger. Hate fuels hate and there is enough of that in
the world without your contribution. Different does not equal wrong and
disagreement does not equal consent. If you don’t agree or don’t like what/who
someone is, fine. But it gives you no right to make a case against them, just don’t
join in. Use the effort you expend towards putting people down to, if nothing else,
make yourself better. You don’t have to be the saving grace to the whole world
but you can save yourself and positively impact people around you.
Seeing all
of the negatives in the world today it is a wonder anyone can be positive and
selfless but that's what we need. We need people to see beyond their 20/20
vision of the world and open their eyes to the impact a smile can have, a well
timed compliment or a random act of kindness.
It can be different. We can be different. I can be
different.
Anti-Bullying Resources:
StopBullying.Gov http://www.stopbullying.gov/
Bullying.org: http://bullying.org/
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