Nikki Sixx, bassist of Motley Crue, actually kept a diary in 1987 when he was a full blown alcoholic, cocaine, heroin, and pill addict. Anything he could get his hands on he would do and at 100 mph. He would often write entries after coming down from a coke binge or after he hadn't slept for 48 hours. The original dairy entries are recorded and then through out the people being discussed in the entries make comments with Nikki commenting as well. For example if in the diary Nikki is talking about one of the countless crazy nights he had with Tommy Lee, they interviewed Tommy about it and included his comments as a retrospective. It is incredible to see how Nikki reacts to his own diary entries and just how tormented he was then and how clearly he sees it all now. It is almost as if you are reading his diary with him sitting there.
It truly is heart breaking to see how much pain he was in. From the outside it looks like just another idiot rock star who has too much money to spend and is irresponsible but Nikki's problem started long before he ever found drugs. His father abandoned him, mother sent him to leave with his grandparents, and he never found an outlet for his sadistic creativity. His path was set way before he knew where he was headed.
I didn't particularly care about Nikki Sixx or Motley Crue for that matter before reading this book but I am very interested in the human psychology of people who feel like they are trapped. It certainly gives a new insight into individuals with addictions and maybe because of this book, next time you encounter an addict you will hesitate just a second before passing judgement; if your trying, a second is just long enough to see through the self obsessed behavior and see how much pain is involved in the lifestyle.
No one dreams of becoming a drug addict, no one takes that first hit with the intention of ruining their life and the lives of others around them for the drug. But in that hit, drag, puff, or swig they find a brief but intense flash of sanity and calm. They find a long sought answer, a mute button for their mind, a validation that has so alluded them. Drugs become their best friend and their worst enemy. And just as fast as they find it, it is gone and the never ending search has begun. All control is abandoned and nothing else matters but going back to the place where they were happy. Nikki's struggle shows us just how people who seemingly have it all can be the most emotionally bankrupt.
This book is written in a style similar to a graphic novel with lots of drawings and graphic visual illustrations. It works to give you a little piece of Nikki's mind and really creates a very dramatic reading experience. It's one thing to read the words, but to feel them is rare and by reading this book you feel every twist, turn and drop of the emotional roller coaster Nikki Sixx was riding to his death.
The Heroin Diaries gives an insight into a world most of us do not know first hand but probably have experienced in some way; addiction. To not be an addict is a blessing and for those who are it is the most difficult path they could have chosen but there is always a way out. Nikki Sixx has survived what 99% of others couldn't and has come out of the tunnel to tell his story. So, if you want to be shocked, saddened, and uplifted through out the course of reading a book, it doesn't get much more real than this.
The Heroin Diaries
By: Nikki Sixx
413 pages
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